


The Magpie

by MiniMoffat37



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniMoffat37/pseuds/MiniMoffat37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Balthazar Shurley is a thief, and a damn good one at that. In fact, he's something of an artist, working with his brothers, leading the FBI in rings. But, when a new thief threatens his reputation, he commits to war, gradually getting more and more daring until they finally collide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thick As Thieves

**Author's Note:**

> Balthazar has retained his English accent, due to spending six years in the UK pre-story, when he was trying to lead a normal life. The order of brothers is as follows: Lucifer, Balthazar, Castiel, and Samandriel. They are the sons of Chuck Shurley, whose wife left him when Samandriel was born.

Balthazar Shurley despised the term “con-man,” because it said he was a mere man. He was most certainly not a mere man. No, he was an artist, and he’d be damned if he was told otherwise. His work was art itself. Didn’t anyone see the beauty in how he stole the gold of Nefertiti? He was an artist and anyone who thought otherwise could be damned to hell.

He was probably only thinking so aggressively because he had been nicknamed “The Magpie”. Of all the silly things. He wasn’t a bird. Just because he only stole shiny things did not mean he flapped his wings about and called in a hideous, croaking voice over his nest. Why was it humanity deemed something to be the same when it only had one thing in common? It was most unnerving. He didn’t like it.

“Balthazar, the video has been put on a ten minute loop. You are free to enter,” Castiel said solemnly over the radio and Balthy was forced to reconcile with the fact that no matter how highly he thought of himself, he couldn’t possibly do all of this on his own.

“Cas, buddy, I thought I lost you,” he commented cheerfully, because Cas had indeed been silent for a very long time.

“Balthazar, I cannot be lost if I was not in your immediate possession in the first place,” Cas replied in another typical painfully obvious snide comment. Balthazar rolled his eyes and opened the hatch.

“You have no sense of humor,” he responded. “Sam, keep a tight grip on me, all right?”

Their younger brother, Samandriel, nodded.

“I have you,” he said gently, so gently Balthy worried for a moment that he would indeed drop him.

“Sam, you man the door,” Lucifer ordered, thinking the same thing. “I’ll lower him.”

“Much appreciated,” Balthy grunted and leaned out over the open hole, tools at the ready. “Cas, have the sensors been shut down?”

“At your request, Balthazar.” Balthy couldn’t help but smirk at the solemn tone.

“Try to sound a little less like you’re speaking at my funeral,” he commanded as Luci began to lower him towards the exhibit. “It makes me nervous.”

“If I were speaking at your funeral, brother, I would sound much more joyous,” Cas snarked and Balthy’s smirk deepened.

“I can feel the brotherly affection from here.”

“It is impossible to feel affection emanating from a person, particularly if it is not emanating at all. It is an abstract concept.”

“So is your boyfriend you’re always messaging, but none of us comment on that.”

Cas fell silent and Luci stopped the rope.

“Balthy, that was rude,” Lucifer said and Balthy squirmed to look back at him.

“Luci, you’re literally leaving me hanging.”

“Apologize.”

Balthy shifted in his gear.

“He started it.”

“And?”

Lucifer let the rope slip a bit and Balthy yelped.

“Sorry, sorry!” he squeaked.

Luci grinned above him, laughing slightly.

“I honestly just wanted to hear you squeal,” he admitted and began to lower Balthy again.

“I know where your apartment is,” Balthy growled as he reached the bottom.

“G...Guys, stop fighting. S...Someone will hear,” Sam stuttered as Balthy set to work on the case housing the treasures of Troy.

“Right-o, boss,” Luci said cheerfully as Balthy lifted the lid.

“Bingo!” Balthy crowed, withdrawing the bronze, glittering necklace and carefully placing it in a case. He screwed the case shut and gave Luci a thumbs-up, grinning broadly. “We have it!”

 Luci began to draw Balthy up, heaving on the rope, until the thief hit the top and scrambled to get his footing. The eldest brother gave Samandriel a cheeky wink.

 “It’s going to be you going in there soon enough,” Luci said as Balthy began to pack up their equipment and close the hatch.

 “Hello, I still exist here,” Balthy grumbled. “And so does this stuff.”

 Sam scurried to help and Balthy ruffled his hair, chuckling.

 “Don’t trip, now.”

 Sam rolled his eyes as he gathered up one of the backpacks to sling it over his shoulder.

 “I’m more coordinated than you are.”

 “Suuurrreee you are,” Balthy teased and pushed out the door onto the roof.

 “I am!” Sam insisted even as Luci patted his back, laughing.

 “Sam, calm down,” Luci grinned. “We all know I’m the most coordinated.”

 “Not anymore. Y...You’re old.”

 Cas started laughing over the radio and Luci glared at his unseen brother.

 “Cas, shut up.”

“Never,” Cas tittered. Balthy laughed and came to the edge of the museum, slinging his leg over the edge and hopping onto the lower roof before sliding down, flipping, and gripping the edge, the ground seven feet beneath him.

“Cas, am I clear?” he asked.

“You’re clear,” Cas replied. Balthy looked down at the ground far below him, past his swinging feet, and inhaled sharply.

“I’m not su---”

Luci stepped on Balthy’s fingers and he yelped, releasing his hold. The ground rushed up at him and he hit in a roll before sprinting to the van. Hard asphalt pounded beneath his feet and suddenly there was the door sliding open for him seconds before impact.

Balthy rolled into the van, followed by Luci, whose hand he immediately stomped on.

“That bloody hurt!” he yelped.

“It got you moving,”  Luci pointed out, shaking his own hand. “Ow.”

Sam slid into the driver’s seat and looked back at them.

“What happened?” he asked.

“He mutilated my hand!” Balthy complained.

“And what do you call what you just did to mine?” Luci asked, hurt.

“Fiery hot revenge.”

“Can we stop bickering, please?” Cas asked tiredly. “Samandriel, kindly drive us to Balthy’s apartment.”

“Okay,” Sam said cheerfully even as Balthy and Luci continued bickering. Oh, family.

⟿

It was on the news. It was everywhere. Someone had replaced the Mona Lisa with a picture of Adolph Hitler in shorts that went halfway up his thighs. No one even cared about the Magpie stealing the treasures of Troy anymore. All anyone could talk about was The Trickster. Of course he would get a cool name, Balthy thought as he furiously jammed Takis into his mouth. Cas looked up from his sprawl on Balthy’s couch.

“I’m not sure the junk you call food deserves that sort of treatment,” Cas remarked languidly.

“It’s going to get it, anyway,” Balthy grumbled, glaring at that idiotic FBI agent on the screen… Uriel, wasn’t it? They lost him in France once. The fool probably thought they were living underneath Versaille or something. The thief found that he did not appreciate the agent going into great detail about the method of this new Trickster. Why had no one ever discussed him like that?

“Dean always says hamburgers and pie is good for the soul,” Cas commented mildly as he tapped away at his phone.

“When do I get to meet this Dean, anyway?” Balthy asked as he hauled himself up onto the counter. Teasing Cas about his boyfriend was a good distraction from the stupid fucking Trickster.

“When you get yourself a girlfriend,” Cas responded. Balthy frowned. That had been an ongoing issue with them. Balthy never dated, Cas thought it wasn’t healthy, etcetera etcetera.

“Everyone is boring. Don’t you want to share your boyfriend with the family?”

“Not particularly, no,” Cas replied as he switched his attention to his laptop. “You all are a very strange breed of animal.”

“Well, he must be, too, if he wants to date you.”

Cas smiled to himself, a smile Balthy found incredibly secretive and not at all nice.

“He is a bit strange. Even so. It’s best that you three do not meet him.” Cas looked back up at him for a fleeting moment. “Dad called today.”

Balthy tilted his head back and groaned in exasperation.

“Did he ask if we did it?”

“No, actually, he asked how everyone was doing, and apologized for not having called for awhile. Evidently he is writing a new book.”

“Isn’t that fascinating,” Balthy grumbled as he opened up a Gatorade he had sitting next to him and took a long drink.

“You are very embittered, Balthazar,” Cas said as he texted. “It is quite annoying at times.”

“And you are very attached to technology. It’s also quite annoying at times.”

Balthy slipped off of the counter and went to stand at the wide window overlooking New York. The skylight seemed so surreal at times. It was hard to believe that it wasn’t all technology down there. Some of the humanity, the simplicity was missing. He had loved the English countryside because everything had been so simple there. There had been no expectations, no lies, no deceit. It had all been… easy. And he missed that sometimes. Being a wanted criminal was hard. He couldn’t get close to anyone for fear of them discovering who he was. He couldn’t trust anyone outside of his family. Not that he didn’t love his family; he really did. Any of his brothers he would gladly die for, even if they were being idiots, like they generally were. But… He wanted to come home to cuddle someone, to kiss their neck, to give them a back rub…

Balthy stopped himself. It would do no good to think like that. How Luci could go around getting drunk and sleeping with racy women was beyond him. Luci was the only sibling that didn’t get sickeningly attached to people. Of course, his rage was terrifying, and when he set out on a vendetta, he completed it with a callousness that sometimes petrified Balthy. Cas could get like that, too. Balthy didn’t like it at all.

Which brought him back to the main source of his distraction. This damn Trickster was getting the best of them. He tightened his arms across his chest as his brows furrowed in thought.

“Cas, isn’t the exhibit for the Mask of Alexander coming into New York in three weeks?” he asked suddenly. Cas’s head shot up at that.

“Balthazar, I do not think stealing the Mask of Alexander is a wise idea,” Cas said hesitantly. Balthy turned back to him, leaning sassily on one hip.

“Since when does the Magpie do things that are wise?” Balthy challenged.

“Since when did the Magpie call himself the Magpie?” Cas countered.

“It’s a name and I’m stuck with it. We’re stealing the Mask of Alexander.”

Cas sighed.

“Shouldn’t this be a group decision?” he asked exasperatedly. Balthy frowned at him angrily.

“Stop making good points.”

Cas’s phone jangled and he looked down at the message, a confused look beginning to crease his forehead.

“Balthazar, what does the fox say and why is it relevant?” he asked. Balthy massaged his temples.

“How do you even spend this much time on the internet and not know these things?”

Cas looked at him, wildly confused.

“I do not understand.”

 Balthy walked towards the bathroom, determined to leave his brother to fend for himself.

"Call Sam and Luci and use a damn search engine."


	2. Clubs Are Never A Good Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Balthy go clubbing. Need I say more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two it's a bit longer than the first. Friendly warning: they're going to increase in length. Oh, not actual smut, but pretty freaking close. Enter Gabriel and whatnot. Lovely. Okay. Yeah. Here you go!

Balthy walked down the street next to Luci, hands in his pockets and breath frosting before his eyes. Of course this would be Luci’s stipulation, the smug asshole.

“I don’t want to go,” Balthy complained. Luci threw an arm around his shoulders, dragging him in close.

“You don’t get out enough,” Luci responded, pretty much manhauling him down the street. “I’m fixing you.”

“You can’t fix something that isn’t broken,” Balthy pointed out even as they arrived at the club. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“It’s a great idea. You can hold your liquor. Everything will be fine,” Luci said grandly, grinning at the bouncer, who promptly let them in. Balthy’s brows crinkled.

“Did he just let us in because you grinned at him?” he asked. Luci shrugged.

“I’m a regular. The bouncers like me.”

Balthy had forgotten how likable Luci could be sometimes, particularly when he was dragging him around like a pet during show and tell in kindergarten. The man was a congenial one, there was no doubt about it. Of course, so was Balthy, when he wasn’t pouting. Which he was doing right now. Oh, he was definitely pouting.

Luci took him by the neck and guided him into the throng of dancing drunks.

“You have an accent. Use it!” he shouted over the tumult. Balthy glared at him.

“This isn’t going to do anything for me,” he replied.

“Shut up and dance!”

Balthy rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to deny that he did like people. He really did. It was just… He didn’t enjoy being forced to mingle. There were beautiful women and beautiful men all around him and he just… Didn’t want to do anything with them. Not that he didn’t like sex. He really liked sex, but it had bored him. And it had got him attached. Both were things he didn’t particularly enjoy, so it had happened that he had lost his interest. Which he had been fine with, but his family had assumed that he had been heartbroken in England or something. He had not been heartbroken, thank you very much. Not once had he gotten that attached. It had simply been a matter of him getting attached and not liking the things that came with it. There had been lies and deceit and a roller coaster of emotions and nothing he particularly enjoyed. In the end, his heart had remained intact, because he had never actually fallen for the girl, and he had come out of it with a previously unknown appreciation for men. Which was something he was happy about. It was just… Sex was unappealing to him now. That was a shame.

Balthy was brought back to the present by a drunk girl tottering over to him.

“Do you want to dance?” she yelled over the music and throngs of people.

“Not really, no!” he replied, taken aback by the smell of alcohol on her breath.

“Pity!” she called. “That accent could make me come!”

With that, she lurched into the crowd, leaving Balthy smirking despite himself. It was probably safer on the sidelines. He looked around a safe place, over the bouncing and contorting bodies, past the smells of sweat and cheap perfume and alcohol, until his eyes locked onto the far edge. Pushing through the people, he came to the neon glowing bar and took a seat, comfortable with watching the insanity and endorphins around him.

“It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?” someone said next to him and he looked over at the man.

“I don’t get out much,” Balthy admitted. The man gave him a grin that overflowed with mischief and fun.

“Really? You look like the sort to love these places.”

Balthy looked down at his red v-neck, double breasted pea coat, and tight jeans before giving the man a sheepish grin.

“I look like a lot of things,” he replied (primarily gay) before observing the man better. Button-up black shirt, washed out jeans, Doc Martins… All fairly nondescript. That hair, though. Not exactly fabulous, no, he wouldn’t go that far, but long enough to get a grip in. And he was short. Balthy liked that, not to mention hazel eyes. He really liked hazel eyes. And of course that face was just…

“Gotten a good look?” the man asked and Balthy blinked. He was probably straight, of course. Stupid Balthy.

“Not nearly enough,” Balthy responded with a smirk. It never hurt to try, of course. The man actually smirked back, which nearly blew him away.

“What kind of name would go with a face like yours?” the man asked. Balthy straightened up. He had never been confident with his name, which translated to him flaunting it when he had to say it to pretend he was confident.

“Balthazar.”

An eyebrow shot up as the man whistled lowly.

“Who named you?” he chuckled.

“I have a brother named Lucifer, so mine isn’t nearly that bad,” Balthy replied and shrugged. “Everyone just calls me Balthy.”

“I’m fairly sure that’s child abuse,” the man chortled and turned to the bar. “I’m Gabriel. Can I get you a drink?”

Balthy felt a surge of relief that he hadn't been flirting with a straight man. Seriously, it couldn't get any more awkward than that.

“You can get me whatever you like.”

“I might take you up on that offer,” Gabriel said with a smirk. Oh, yeah. He was definitely not straight.

Balthy leaned on the bar. He felt daring and competitive as Gabriel ordered shots of vodka. Well. That was rather daring for a stranger.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Balthy laughed. Not that he minded. Somehow he really didn’t care about not being reckless anymore. He didn’t give a damn if he got attached at this point.

“And if I am?” Gabriel responded, looking at Balthy teasingly.

“To hell with caution,” Balthy responded, grabbed his glass, and knocked it back. “I feel like being a bloody idiot.”

Gabriel tilted his glass to him.

“Amen to that. Although I don’t aim on getting you too drunk, if I do say so myself. I like ‘em smart and daring.” He swallowed the shot in one go and grinned at Balthy challengingly.

Balthy thought of all of his heists and stupid, brilliant plans.

“Well, I think you got what you came for,” he said with an equally challenging gaze. “Another round?”

Gabriel grinned and signaled the bartender.

"Where are you from in England?" he asked him. Balthy took his shot and blinked.

"Devonshire. Where are you from?"

"A little bit of everywhere," Gabriel replied. "I like to keep moving."

"I've been in New York for awhile now," Balthy said. "I like it here. Sort of."

"Small town man?" Gabriel guessed and Balthy grinned.

"Something like that." In fact, he had grown up in Cleveland, but now didn't seem like a good time to mention that.

"How about we get out of here?" Gabriel asked. Balthy gave him a Look.

"I haven't even had three shots. I'm not that drunk."

"I don't know you seem pretty drunk off danger to me," Gabriel said slyly. Balthy stared at him. His hazel eyes were twinkling with mischief, the kind of mischief that generally ended with trouble. He was leaning in close... Very close, giving Balthy a damn good whiff of his Armani aftershave. And that smile. That smug little smile was going to kill Balthy.

"Let's get out of here," Balthy decided. Why the fuck not? Why the fuck not?

Gabriel took him by the elbow and led him around the dance floor. Adrenaline was pumping through Balthy. He was always so cautious, so calculated. It had been forever since he had done something impulsive like this. Everything was always planned. How much had he even gotten out since he moved back?

"You got a last name, Balthazar?" Gabriel shouted over the music, which had gotten louder.

"Sure I do," Balthy yelled back. Gabriel gave him a Look.

"Fair enough," Gabriel decided. Balthy saw Luci through the crowd dancing with no less than four girls, grinning and probably aroused.

"I gotta shoot my brother a text!" he called. "Let go of my elbow!"

Gabriel let go of him and Balthy pulled out his phone.

**Leaving with someone. Don't wait for me I'm already gone.**

He hit send and turned his attention back to Gabriel, who was five feet ahead and still moving. Luci texted back almost immediately.

**Remember to put some rubber on your willy.**

"Damn prick," he muttered before hurrying to catch up. "Wait!"

Gabriel turned and leaned against the doorway, raising an eyebrow.

"Do try to keep up," he teased in the worst English accent Balthy had ever heard.

"I don't sound like that," Balthy grumbled, pushing past him. Gabriel grinned and flagged down a cab.

"You want to smile," Gabriel joked as he opened the door. "After you, kiddo."

Balthy slid into the backseat, sitting at the far window as Gabriel gave his address to the driver.

"Don't have to be so far away."

Balthy turned, locking eyes with Gabriel. There was a particular look in the man's eyes; a sort of hunger that sent shivers down Balthy's spine. He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing.

"Don't suppose I have to be," Balthy decided, inching closer. Gabriel reached over and gripped his neck tightly, pulling him in to breathe against his lips.

"You have a face I'd kill for," Gabriel whispered, exhaling slowly, his breath hot and smelling of candy and alcohol.

"Oh, really?" Balthazar replied, trying to keep his breath even as Gabriel trailed playful fingers under his shirt, their coldness scorching hot skin.

"Mmmhm," Gabriel hummed and pressed their lips together. Balthy just went with it, not even questioning if this was too fast.

They were electric, those lips of his. Chapped slightly, and wet from licking. Balthy let his eyes slide shut, inhaling slowly through his nose even as Gabriel lifted those lips and peppered Balthy with little kisses. Talented fingers rubbed circles into his back as Balthy threaded all ten fingers in Gabriel's hair, tugging as he exhaled. Gabriel locked their lips once more, darting out his tongue and running it along Balthy's bottom lip. Obediently, Balthy parted his lips, and Gabriel pushed his tongue in to tangle with his own. He tasted of vodka and cherry lollipops. Slowly, he pushed Balthy back, sliding on top of him.

At that moment, the Star Wars theme song burst out, and they both jumped as Balthy's phone vibrated insistently.

_Dun duuuun duuuuuuuun dun da da duuuuun dun dun da da duuuuuun dun da da da dun..._

"Awkward...." Balthy sang as Gabriel stared at him.

"Are you gonna answer that?"

Balthy jumped.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course." He dug his phone out and answered it. "I'm a bit busy, Cas. What's up?"

"I have the schedule for the transportation of the mask. When will you be back?"

"Probably not all night. I really can't talk right now," Balthy growled.

"Are you having sex?"

"Castiel, I'm not having this conversation with you. Goodbye." Balthy hung up and turned his phone off, shoving it moodily in his pocket.

"Castiel?" Gabriel echoed.

"My parents were weird. Don't judge."

Gabriel grinned.

"Not judging."

 

The rest of the night was a blur of kisses so hard they hurt, hand jobs, sucking, bites, and the hardest sex Balthy had ever had. He remembered how Gabriel rode him, slamming up and down, back arched and gasping. It was a vision burned into Balthy's mind, sweat shining on his skin, head tilted back, and light brown hair in a mess of sex. Yes, it had been a delicious sight.

Balthy woke up with a warm body pressed to his back and an arm gripping his waist tightly. He froze as Gabriel's hot breath moisted his neck. Did he actually stay the night? Shit.

The man was a goddamn octopus, legs tangled up in his, arm keeping him pressed against Gabriel's chest, other arm tucked underneath his neck. Balthy exhaled in annoyance. He couldn't stay. He needed to get going. No attachments. That was what he promised himself and he'd be damned if he was going to break a promise. No friends with benefits. No numbers. And definitely no naked cuddling.

Carefully, he untangled his legs, moving gingerly to not wake Gabriel. With the most delicate of precision, he started to peel away the arm around his middle, but the goddamn octopus tightened it.

"Balthy..." Gabriel mumbled, slowly waking up, and Balthy froze, struggling to keep his breath light. Gabriel muttered incoherently for a moment before burying his face into Balthy's back and falling asleep once more. Balthy exhaled slowly and pried his arm away. The man shifted and gripped at the empty bed as Balthy gathered up his clothes and snuck out of the apartment.

Naturally, he felt lonely as he hailed a cab.

"Don't think about it, Balthy," he muttered. "Do not think about it." Oh, he was lonely. Bloody hazel eyes. "Damn him to hell."

Cas was waiting for him when he came home. There was bacon cooking, but that couldn't get the smell of Gabriel's aftershave out of Balthy's mind. He came in and tossed his keys onto the table by the door as he pushed the actual door shut with his foot.

"Don't you have your own apartment?" he asked wryly as he shrugged off his jacket.

"You have seen my apartment. Why do you ask?" Cas asked as he turned the bacon.

 Balthy sighed and kicked off his shoes.

 "Never mind. What are you doing here?"

 "I am cooking you breakfast because I had a feeling you wouldn't stay to eat," Cas replied. "Did you even tell her goodbye?"

 "Him," Balthy corrected and paused as he realized he had never actually shared that with his family. Cas turned to him in surprise.

 "You never said you were interested in men," he said in shock. Balthy rolled his eyes.

  "I wasn't really interested in anyone for a long time," he reminded him. "What all are you cooking?"

  "Toast, fried eggs, bacon, and sliced tomato."

  Balthy grinned and hopped up on the counter.

 "You know the way to my heart," he said and leaned over to open the fridge. "Orange juice?"

 "Yes, please," Cas responded and Balthy pulled out the OJ. "What was his name?"

 "Is this really a necessary conversation?"

  "No." Cas fixed him with a level stare and Balthy sighed.

 "His name was Gabriel."

 "Who topped?"

 "Cas!"

 "What?"

 "You can't just ask people who tops!"

 "Why not?"

 "If I asked you who tops would you feel comfortable telling me?"

 "Yes. I normally do."

 Balthy groaned and placed his head in his hands.

 "I could've gone my whole life not knowing that."

 Cas blinked before handing Balthy a plate of food.

 "Here is your breakfast."

 Balthy accepted it, furiously trying to forget what Cas had just told him.

 "I don't want to meet him now," he grumbled before shoving a piece of crispy bacon into his mouth.

 "Good."

 Balthy glared at Cas.

 "You did that on purpose, you conniving, secretive little..."

"The best way to catch the mask is to intercept via transport," Cas interrupted. "We may need some feminine influence in this task. The driver is a hard man, but might melt at a woman in need."

"So, you're saying we need Ruby." Balthy tipped his head back and hit it against the cabinet door. "Anna will kill us."

"Ruby is our best bet," Cas agreed, though it wasn't an agreement Balthy liked. "She's smooth. Although Anna would probably be better. Ruby is pretty, but Anna is innocent looking."

Balthy scoffed.

"Yeah, like that will ever happen. I have an idea. We need to get a car we can trash."

Cas blinked.

"It already sounds like a bad idea."

Balthy finished his breakfast and slipped off the counter.

"I'm going to shower. You call Ruby."

Cas pursed his lips.

"Balthazar. You talk better than I do."

Balthy turned into the hall.

"It doesn't take much convincing to get Ruby to do something dangerous. You can do it."

"Anna will not like it."

"Ruby will do it anyway."

"I do not want to mess up a healthy relationship."

Balthy stuck his head back into the kitchen.

"Cas. It isn't healthy if Ruby isn't content with being safe. Think with me here." He swung back into the bathroom and shut the door on Cas's protests.


	3. Oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And awkward things happen. Here. Have some Destiel.

Cas was right. Anna Milton was furious, and Balthy had to bear the brunt of her anger.

“What the hell are you thinking, dragging her back into that mess again?” she roared, red hair all in a mess, backing Balthy against a wall as he cringed under her fury.

“If she wants to do it, you shouldn’t stop her!” Balthy shot back, determined to not be cowed. Well, not cowed completely, because shit, she was scary.

“She can’t just go out and do these things!” Anna thundered. “This is ridiculous and stupid. Do you need the mask of Caesar?”

“Alexander,” Balthy corrected automatically. “There is no mask of Caesar.”

“I don’t care if it’s the mask of light! You can’t just ask her to put her life on the line and do these irresponsible and completely illegal things! Do you realize how much jail time she could get if she was caught? Do you?”

“Not nearly as much time as mine,” Balthy shot back at his angry cousin. “But that doesn’t matter because this is her choice, not yours. You can’t just control her it isn’t right!”

“I’m not controlling her I’m saying no to her addiction!”

“It isn’t an addiction it’s something she likes to do and is good at! It doesn’t consume her life or destroy her. If anything, she’s happier when she’s doing jobs and out there.”

“She’s happier with me!”

“You can’t just keep her to yourself all the time she is her own goddamn person!” Balthy roared. Anna stomped her foot.

“I’m not trying to keep her to myself I’m trying to keep her safe!” she shouted.

Balthy swallowed and forced himself to calm down.

“Anna, remember when we were kids, and Dad told us not to go near the rapids?”

Anna blinked at the change in his tone.

“Yes, I remember.”

“Remember how you went anyway and Cas tried to save you and you both got caught in them?”

She groaned.

“You’re going to pull this card on me?”

“Yes. I am. Remember how I was the one that shimmied out onto the limb and caught you both before you drowned?”

“Of course I remember I almost died.”

“If you trusted me to save you then, why aren’t you trusting me to keep her safe?”

“Because it’s different now,” Anna whispered. “It’s one thing to be terrified for yourself. It’s another to be terrified that you won’t have someone else.”

Balthy’s gaze softened as he looked at her.

“Anna. She won’t get caught. If we were ever found out, I would take the fall for it all. They only think there’s one of us. That’s why I’m called The Magpie. It’ll be okay.”

Anna fumed for a second before spitting out, “Fine, but you owe me big time.”

Balthy pulled a face at that. It was never a good thing when someone owed Anna something.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit extre---”

“No. No I don’t,” she interrupted. “And you’re getting off lightly.”

Balthy pouted a little and pushed past her to get to his kitchen.

“It’s just another job.”

“It’s the mask of Napoleon.”

“Okay, now you’re just trying to get it wrong!” he complained. Anna stared at him, a deadpan expression on her face, and said nothing. Balthy huffed and pulled open the fridge moodily.

“Stop that. If anyone should be moody, it’s me,” Anna said as Balthy pulled out a carton of milk and drank from it.

“I’m not being moody.”

“You are totally being moody.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

They were broken off in their argument by Luci striding in through what was supposed to be a locked front door with Ruby. Balthy glared at him, still holding his carton of milk, and opened his mouth to protest.

“Any complaints can be taken up with my secretary,” Luci said, flinging himself onto the couch and turning the television on. Balthy rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, hoping that when he looked back down they would all be gone.

“This is all a nightmare. This is a figment of my imagination. None of this is real,” he said to himself as Anna and Ruby greeted each other a bit too passionately for his taste.

“Look again, little bro. Your cousin is making out with your old best friend in your living room,” Luci replied teasingly.

Balthy slammed the milk back into the fridge and had his little outburst.

“Is nothing sacred?” he asked angrily. Luci rolled his head to look at him.

“Are you seriously asking the guy named after Satan about sacredness?” he responded. Balthy grabbed his coat.

“Ruby, Anna, Luci, all of you stay out of my bedroom,” he growled. “I’m going out.”

“Aw, Balthy, don’t be too mad,” Ruby teased. “We weren’t that graphic.”

“Bloody disturbing,” Balthy muttered before tucking his keys into his pocket and slamming the door behind him, because, hey, it was his own damn apartment, and he had to assert some form of dominance over it.

Balthy stomped out of his building and into the cold, hands shoved into his pockets, snowflakes dusting his cheeks and settling on his clothes. Dammit, Balthy, you always forget the scarf, he thought ruefully. Snow was dancing down, turning to slush in the streets. New York wasn’t pretty in the winter. The little white flakes never had a chance to settle and harden, being kicked up by the constant hustle and bustle of the undying city. It was times like this that he remembered his quaint little English life. 

That prompted a thought.

Tea, he thought to himself. Tea will erase these idiots in my life. Tea will cure everything. He kicked up a bit of slush moodily and looked up at the flakes that were steadily falling faster and faster around him. Hadn’t the weather channel said something about a storm? For a moment, he racked his brain for the answer to that question, but nothing was coming. Unfortunately, his memory couldn’t be bothered to work. All it seemed to be interested in was Armani aftershave.

Damn that man. He had gone two days without thinking of him. Balthy angrily kicked up more slush as the snow fell more heavily around him, not realizing how far off he had strayed from his apartment, entirely focused on forgetting everything. Why was he doing this heist, anyway?

Oh, yes, of course. His ego required gratification because some Trickster was waltzing about stealing his fire. Balthy had always been a competitive soul, he really was. His entire life, he had to be the fastest kid on the playground, the smartest kid in the classroom, the greasiest kid in the shop, and the cleverest thief around. And he liked to be noticed. He liked to be the center of attention. Now that there was a rival… Well. It had been too far since he had had some actual competition. Maybe it would help him out a bit.

Balthy slowly realized that it was snowing harder, making it hard to see, and he had no idea where he was. He cursed and ducked into a cafe next to him.

“Yeah, a chocolate mocha would be great,” someone was saying behind him, and he froze at the voice. What on…?

“Hey, sweetheart,” the girl at the counter called to the stunned Balthy staring at the back to him. “What can I get you?”

“Uh… What?” Balthy’s head jerked up and he focused on her. Good. She was here. There was no way that man was here. Nope. It wasn’t happening. He had just escaped from the nightmare. There was not another nightmare in this cafe with him. Nope. Nope. Nope.

“Nope," Balthy said, shaking his head and lifting his hands. “Nope. Nope. No.”

Gabriel turned back and his brows crinkled as Balthy began to push his way out of the door.

“Balthy?” he asked in surprise. 

“No,” Balthy said. “Uh-uh. I’m not staying to talk. Nope. No.”

“Was I really that bad?” Gabe asked, hurt. Balthy pulled a face.

“Well, no, but I avoid one night stands like the plague after it’s said and done.”

The barista leaned forward on the counter slightly, intrigued by the drama going down in her shop. Gabe matched Balthy’s face.

“Well, was I that little of a gentleman.”

“You were a bit overly forward.”

“You liked it.”

“I did not.”

“Then why did you follow me out of the club?”

“Because I was sick of my brothers nagging me about never getting laid.”

“So you screwed me on your brothers’ orders? That isn’t kinky at all.”

Balthy glared at Gabe.

“Only you would think of it in such gross terms.”

“How would you know if you only screwed me one night and left me to wake up in a cold bed?”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that I was required to stay in the bed of strange men after fucking them within an inch of their life. I thought it was considered acceptable to make my own decisions about my own sex life,” Balthy snarked, instantly feeling bad at the expression Gabe got on his face.

“I didn’t mean it like that. You left the blankets thrown all over the place.”

“I did not.”

“Well, they sure as hell weren’t on me.”

“It isn’t my fault you’re an octopus and a bulldozer rolled into a tiny ball of too much sugar and an unfair lack of cavities.”

“How is octopi relevant in any of this?” Gabe asked, wildly confused.

“You are an octopus. I could barely get out of the bed with the way you were hanging on me.”

Gabe grinned.

“Maybe I just couldn’t stand to let you get away from me,” he said coyly.

“Stop right there.” Balthy viciously shook the damp from his hair and glared at Gabe. “You are an infuriating little ass.”

“And you have a hot accent to match that temper.”

“I do not have a temper,” Balthy spluttered as the barista watched the argument like it was a tennis match.

“You have a horrible temper.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Balthy scowled at him.

“My temper is reserved for utterly infuriating individuals like you.”

Gabe laughed.

“Can I get you a coffee?”

Balthy blinked at the offer, completely taken aback.

“Wh---?”

“Coffee. Us Americans drink it.” 

“I know Americans drink it; I’m asking why you’re offering to get me some.”

“Because I’m trying to prove I’m not a complete ass. Work with me here.”

“And if I say no?”

“Then feel free to brave that storm on your own.”

“For trying to prove you’re not an ass, you have one hell of an approach to the situation. If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re trying to get me on an impromptu date.”

Gabe snorted.

“Please. If I was going to take you on an actual date, I would call you on the number I don’t have, give you an hour to get ready, pick you up at the apartment or house that I don’t know, take you to a very expensive restaurant, and then go ice skating. This isn’t even close to a date at my standards.”

Balthy raised his eyebrows at that.

“My my. You are a gentleman occasionally. I’m impressed. It really makes me wonder where you get the money for that.”

Gabe grinned.

“And then on our second date I’d take you on a hot air balloon ride, because I’m unpredictable, too.”

“And what makes you so sure there’d be a second date?”

Gabe stretched languidly.

“If I’m putting the moves on you, you wouldn’t be able to say no.”

“I don’t hold much stock in cockiness.”

“Are you going to accept the coffee or not?”

Balthy frowned.

“More of a tea man, really,” he said.

“You mean you’re more of a Brit,” Gabe corrected. “What kind?”

“Hey, now,” Balthy cautioned. “Watch your step there. And earl grey.”

Gabe turned back to the barista, who had been watching the exchange with barely concealed delight, and Balthy’s phone took that moment to go off. The man turned back to him, raising an eyebrow as memories came flooding back, and Balthy pulled a face at him as he answered it.

“Yes?” he asked with barely concealed contempt.

“Are you alright out there? It’s snowing hard,” Luci said in concern.

“Of course I’m alright. There are millions of shops to duck into. Did you think I wouldn’t have the wits to do so?”

“Well, your brain does tend to shut off when you’re mad and you start taking stupid pills.”

“I do not.”

“Balthy, bud, let’s not have a do don’t argument right now when your life is in mortal peril.”

“I’m in a cafe. I’m hardly in mortal peril.”

“This is New York. You close a cab door too hard and you’re in mortal peril.”

Balthy smothered a laugh at that.

“True, but still. I have my own defenses.”

“Balthy, your tea is ready,” Gabe said a little too loudly. Balthy froze and glared at Gabe, who shrugged without any remorse.

“Who was that?” Luci asked suspiciously. Balthy eyed the shorter man.

“My defenses. Bye, Satan.” Balthy angrily hit end and turned back to Gabe, who was holding out his cup of tea.

“I told you you had a temper.”

Balthy glared at him.

“I reserve my temper for patronizing brothers and asses.”

Gabe grinned as Balthy aggressively sipped tea.

“You’re hot when you’re mad.”

“I hate you and I hope you burn in hell.”

“But, I bought you tea.”

Balthy relented at that.

“Okay. I hope you burn in hell only for a little bit.”

“And afterwards?”

“I don’t give a damn.”

“So,” Gabe sat down and looked at him intently. “Balthazar. Are you going to sit down until this storm lets up?”

Balthy grumbled a little bit and sat down opposite him, rolling his eyes.

“It seems I have little choice.” He ran a hand through his soaked hair and relaxed a bit, annoyed, but at ease. “So. Are we going to make boring coffee shop talk?”

“It seems I have little choice,” Gabe mimicked. “So. You’re English.”

“That I am,” Balthy agreed, not wanting to go into the official backstory. “I moved to America a year or so ago to be with my family.”

“Family?” Gabe chanced a look at Balthy’s left hand. Balthy caught the look and laughed.

“My brothers. We run a specialized business in antiquities. Consultants, really.”

Gabe looked up at that.

“Oh?”

Balthy nodded.

“It’s pretty boring, but I missed them. They needed me.”

“Are they British, too?”

“No. They have American accents just like you.”

Gabe’s brows crinkled at that.

“Then wha---?”

“My family is confusing,” Balthy interrupted.

Gabe blinked.

“Evidently,” he muttered.

“What about you? What do you do?”

Gabe took a sip of his mocha.

“Oh, I came into a lot of family money, so I go around the world writing for travel magazines. It’s all quite nice. I enjoy it.”

“Do you like antiques?” Balthy asked, figuring they could go into dangerous waters. It was fun to play the line. A strange little grin quirked up Gabe’s lips.

“Something like that.”

“I really like things from the Han Dynasty,” Balthy said. 

“Oh?” Gabe tilted his head, eyes picking up the light in a mischievous, intelligent gleam that really took Balthy’s breath away and--- “I prefer the Qin.”

Balthy’s face took on a shocked expression at that.

“You know Chinese artifacts?”

“I really have a passion for old things. Tell me. Which century made better tapestries in southern France: fourteenth or fifteenth?”

“I honestly prefer third bc Greek tapestries,” Bathy answered. “The original is always the best.”

Gabe looked at him in appreciation.

“I assume you like the original Star Wars trilogy better, then.”

Balthy’s eyes bugged.

“Do you like breathing?”

“Well, I’ve become quite fond of it, yes.”

“Although, seriously, anyone could see it coming. Of all the names they could have picked for Darth Vader, father? In German? Come on.”

“I think it was supposed to be a more archetypal thing.”

“Did you ever read Don Quixote?”

“I identified with Don Quixote on a spiritual level,” Gabe admitted. Balthy started to laugh.

“You know it was actually a social commentary, correct?”

“What? I thoroughly enjoyed reading about a crazy old man attacking windmills and dashing about the countryside on his noble stallion,” Gabe defended his position.

“He was an interesting person, I’ll give you that.”

“He was majestic.”

“He was delusional.”

“All the best people are.”

“Lewis Carroll references are not permitted. It was a completely separate century.”

“Lewis Carroll references are perfectly acceptable. He was my favorite.”

“Twiddledee and Twiddledum were representations of breasts. How can he possibly be your favorite?”

Gabe grinned at that.

“I can appreciate a little imagination. Where would any of us be without imagination?”

“In a world of gray,” Balthy answered faintly. Gabe gave him an odd look.

“Suppose so, yeah.”

Balthy blinked.

“Sorry. My mind was somewhere else.”

Gabe snorted.

“Evidently. You must be a deep thinker.”

Balthy grinned.

“I have my moments.”

The snow kept falling down as they talked long into the day, just two men waiting out a storm in a coffee shop. Balthy found that he was gradually becoming more and more entranced by the short, snarky, playful man that evidently carried around sweets in his jacket pockets. He had never known a more peaceful time than that day, sipping his tea and eating chocolate. 

⟿

Cas knew that seeing a bounty hunter was a really fucking bad idea. Like capital Bad Idea. He was a thief. He was a hacker. He worked on the wrong side of the law. But…

Waking up to that lump of sleeping freckles made him so happy. Dean was sprawled on his stomach, face smeared into the pillow, snoring gently. In all of his ridiculous, derpy glory, Cas couldn’t help but love him. How did he make that facial expression look so attractive? Cas got up softly and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

In all honesty, Cas despised morning breath. He wished he had some way to cleanse himself without leaving Dean’s side, but that seemed to be impossible. Which was a pity. He squeezed out some toothpaste on the brush and looked into the mirror at his messy bed head and bare chest. Unfortunately, he was still pretty gross from last night. Cas stuck the brush in his mouth, debating on whether or not to take a quick shower before making them breakfast. Dean wouldn’t be in town for much longer and Cas was utterly lost on how to spend his time with him. The last thing he wanted to do was to let his brothers learn about his boyfriend.

Dean shuffled sleepily into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around Cas’s middle, shoving his head into Cas’s shoulder grumpily.

“No good morning kiss?” he mumbled.

“I would rather not place my lips on yours when that odor is coming from your mouth,” Cas replied mildly after spitting before he jammed the toothbrush back in his mouth.

“You’re so picky,” Dean grumbled.

“Your standards are too low,” Cas rejoined from around the brush.

“Hey. If my standards are low, what does that say about you?”

Can pulled a face as he spat again.

“I’m one of your better choices, obviously.”

Dean chuckled a little, the rumble in his chest sending reverberations up Cas’s spine.

“You got that right. I have to go this evening.”

Cas paused in his mouth rinsing, skipping a beat. He looked down, not liking the work that Dean did. Dean didn’t notice the tense in his muscles, as he was too busy pressing kisses to Cas’s back. Cas shook him off as he spat for a final time.

“Don’t get your morning breath all over my skin!” he complained. 

“You’re going to shower anyway!” Dean whined.

“It’s still disgusting,” Cas huffed, pulling away from Dean’s grasp and turning on the shower.

“Well, excuse me,” Dean said, feigning annoyance. Cas glared at him.

“Brush your teeth and then you can do whatever the hell you want. But only if you brush.”

Dean pouted, an adorable expression on his sleepy face, and Cas turned his back to him, determined to not give in as he dropped his briefs.

“Brush your teeth and you can join me,” he promised teasingly and stepped under the warm stream. Dean’s eyes widened (seriously, when was he going to get used to this?) and he quickly turned back to the sink. Cas smiled to himself as he ducked his head under the water. Secretly, he hoped Dean would never get used to it.

The second Dean stepped into the water with him, the front door banged open.

“Castieeelll!” Luci shouted and Cas froze.

“Dean, stay in here,” he hissed and stumbled out of the water.

“Who is that?” Dean asked, stiffening slightly.

“My brother.”

“We locked the door.”

“He has a key,” Cas lied. Nobody actually bothered to give Luci a key, since he would pick the lock anyway, but Dean didn’t need to know that.

“Why haven’t I met him?” Dean asked as Cas hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist.

“It’s complicated. Stay in here and stay quiet,” Cas hissed. “I’ll be right back.”

He rushed out of the bathroom and found Luci raiding the fridge.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked angrily. Luci glanced at him.

“Well, I went to Balthy’s apartment with Ruby, but he got mad and huffed off, so I decided to swing by your apartment, now that the storm has let up and there is no sign of darling Balthazar.”

Cas froze at that.

“There is no sign of Balthazar? Did he go out into that snow?” he asked, looking at Lui with wide eyes. Luci pulled out a carton of milk and frowned.

“You’re lactose intolerant. Why are you keeping regular milk?”

Cas snatched it from his grasp.

“So Samandriel has something to drink when he swings by. You let him take off into that storm by himself?”

“It’s New York. He can find his way home by hailing a cab,” Luci shrugged as he took out a half-eaten pie. “Don’t tell me you ate this all by yourself.”

“No, I did not. Do you know where he is?”

“He’s at a coffee shop with someone,” Luci responded. “Wouldn’t tell me who. Don’t worry about it. He’s a big boy.”

Cas blinked.

“He’s with someone?” he asked in shock. “Balthazar?”

“Yeah. He’s been gone for awhile now.” Luci eyed a discard plaid shirt on the floor. “Why did you leave the shower running? And whose shirt is that? You don’t wear those shirts.”

Cas glared at him.

“Lucifer. Out.”

Luci’s eyes widened.

“Is Dean here?” he asked in excitement. “Can I meet him?”

“We’re currently in the middle of a very intimate shower, so no, you may not,” Cas sniffed. “Get out.”

“Are you two having sex in the shower?”

“We were going to, had you not walked in so rudely. Leave.”

Luci grinned.

“I’m so glad you’re so forward about these things, unlike our brothers. It’s so refreshing to know that the awkwardest of my brothers can get it on. Leaves hope for the other two.”

“Lucifer.”

Still grinning, Luci made for the front door.

“Satan will leave you in peace, don’t worry. Go get it, little brother.” He pulled the door shut fabulously behind him and Cas shook his head. Family. Would it never end? He went back into the bathroom and reentered the shower.

“Sorry about that,” he said, kissing Dean, who was practically hopping in anticipation.

“I’m so glad I don’t live near my brother,” Dean grinned, crowding Cas against the wall. “I might be gone for awhile. It’s a tough case.”

“Oh?” Cas rested his hands on Dean’s hips, nipping at his jaw as water trickled down his face.

“Yeah. Agent Morningstar called me onto a tough case they’ve been struggling with.”

The name Morningstar tickled a memory in Cas’s brain, but the hormones overwhelmed it.

“Mmm.” He trailed a line of kisses down to Dean’s clavicle, barely listening, until Dean said something that triggered a warning bell in Cas’s mind.

“...Needs help with the Magpie case,” he was saying and Cas froze.

“Magpie case?” he echoed uneasily, frozen over Dean’s collarbone.

“Yeah. They’re beginning to think it’s more than one man.”

“Oh.” Cas struggled to contain himself. Of course this was going to happen. But why did they need a bounty hunter? “Why do they need you?”

Dean grinned.

“Well, a bounty hunter has to think like a criminal. And they have a problem of only being able to think like law-abiding citizens. Therefore, they need me. I’ve caught people before, you know. Never anything this big.”

Cas composed himself and sucked at Dean’s skin. For once, all he could think of was a cuss word.  
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stealing the Mask Of Alexander is going to come up very soon, have no fear, and then some other very important artifacts are going to be stolen, and then the games will continue. I hope you all liked it! Leave some comments on what you'd like to see!


	4. What A Glorious Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but here's chapter 4!!! Time to steal the mask!!! Chapter 5 is hopefully on its way dun dun duuunnnnn and the plot thickens!

“How could he know this new dawn’s light would change his life forever?” the driver belted out at the top of his lungs, completely off key as he caught a whiff of smoke from the rolled down window. He looked around in confusion for a minute, trying to scope out a forest fire, but saw nothing.

“How can I be looosssttt if I’ve got nowhere to gooo?” he kept singing, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel. Of course, he did have somewhere to go, and he shouldn’t be lollygagging like he was, but, hey, he needed his downtime away from his wife, and it wasn’t even like he was being paid for these secretive envoys. Seriously, he deserved more money than what he was getting for this shit.

A woman staggered out onto the road, bleeding and screaming.

“Help!” she screeched and Tom the Driver slammed both feet on the brakes, swerving dangerously across the road and coming to a halt as the gorgeous bloody brunette began to cry, gesturing to snapped and broken trees off the side of the road helplessly. Tom tumbled out of the armored car and rushed up to her.

“Shhh!” he hushed her, flipping up the bill of his hat so he could look at her better. She looked at him with teary brown eyes, blood dripping down her face as she sobbed.

“Ma...Ma...My baby brother!” she cried. “He’s stuck and there’s fire and I…I...I can’t get him out!” She gestured wildly towards the wrecked foliage.

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“J...James,” she sobbed. “Please. Help me! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to! I… I wasn’t paying attention and...and...”

“Hush, let’s not focus on blame right now,” he shushed her. “Show me to him.”

Nodding, she pulled him towards the trees, still sobbing, as two figures appeared on the other side of the road.

“Cas, what do we got?” Luci asked as he attached a device to the back of the vehicle.

“I am currently running a system’s diagnostic,” Cas responded as Balthy stood watch.

“And?”

“Hacking now,” Cas informed them. “The digital code is quite complicated, and it’s on a very specific TX RF, which I assume is transmitting to the final destination. Hm. That’s funny. I was under the impression that 25 bandwidth was illegal for anyone but the military. They must have gotten specific permits to be allowed to transmit on such a wide band, although why they would need such a band to transmit one continuous signal I don’t---”

“Cas. English, if you please. Or don’t speak at all. That would also be helpful.”

“Why people continually take offense to realizing that they are, in fact, ignorant, I will never understand,” Cas replied mildly as the door clicked. “Balthazar, the door is open. Kindly enter and take the artifact.”

“Remind me to buy you dinner,” Balthy said as he slipped into the darkness and checked for traps. “Luci, stand ready.”

The mask was in a case on a weight-sensitive pedestal. Luci circled around to the back as Balthy held up the replacement case, carefully pushing it onto the pedestal as he pushed off the original. The case slipped into Luci’s easy grasp as Balthy positioned the magnetized case appropriately.

“Ready?” he asked and Luci nodded.

“Yup. Let’s go.”

The two hopped out of the back and shut the door, sharing matching devilish grins.

“You know, we’re terrible people,” Balthy said.

“Duly noted. Let’s go.”

The two brothers stole into the woods as Ruby wailed and metal creaked.

“Do you think he’ll get Samandriel out?” Balthy asked worriedly. There was a strong chance that a fire would start up in that car.

“God, I hope so,” Luci responded quietly as he fastened the case to his motorcycle. Balthy bit his lip and pulled the helmet on.

“Should we go back?” he questioned. This was a dangerous game.

“Trust Sammy,” Luci said. “He’s adorable, yeah, but he’s very nimble. And he isn’t actually unconscious. He’ll get himself out if push comes to shove.”

Balthy nodded slowly and slung his leg over his motorcycle.

“Let’s go, then,” he said quietly. The two rolled out and onto the pavement, leaving behind the smoke bombs and crashed car to Ruby.

⟿

Agent Michael Morningstar was understandably furious, but Dead failed to see why it was being taken out on Uriel. Admittedly, Uriel was something of a pompous ass, but seriously. Mikey over there needed to chill the fuck out.

“Are you completely incompetent?” he asked, deathly quietly, and yet eerily loud. It shouldn’t have been that loud for such a low tone.

“He was giving no indication that he would try for something this big,” Uriel pointed out peevishly. “All sources were pointing to Queen Marie Jose’s necklace, not the fucking Mask of Alexander!”

“Still here,” Dean muttered in annoyance.

“I’m perfectly aware that you are here, Mr. Winchester, you’ve moved every single thing on my desk out of alignment.”

“You align your...” Dean trailed off. The efficiency of this man was utterly sickening. Who organized the top of their desk? Seriously? That’s what filing cabinets were for. Well. He supposed that was what filing cabinets were for. He normally used them to throw on top of runaways. Highly effective, in his opinion. Everyone should have a filing cabinet to make his job easier. Or theirs. Mutually beneficial worked.

Of course, he had once had his fingers slammed in a drawer of a filing cabinet, so they couldn’t be that beneficial, but, still. That made him wonder if Cas had a filing cabinet for whatever job he did and if he would object much to Dean pushing him up against it. He rather enjoyed playing rough with the man, getting him all hot and bothered. Seriously, the way those blue eyes got all intense should be completely illegal. In fact, the way Cas did a lot of things should be illegal, like that adorable scrunched up face he would get when he was trying really hard to analyze things from Dean’s point of view. Or that way he would twiddle with those incredibly sexy glasses and unconsciously lick those oh so pink lips…

“Mr. Winchester,” Michael said mildy. “Are you with us?”

“What?” Dean jumped and he realized that his hand had been straying dangerously close to his crotch. “Are you done yelling at your subordinates in front of me? If not, no. I’m staying checked out.”

“I am not yelling, I am questioning,” Michael hissed.

“Rhetorically, of course,” Dean snipped and Michael glared at him.

“My department isn’t paying you to be sarcastic.”

“Oh, no; I offer that service freely. Unless you’d like to be charged for extra cynicism?”

Neither Uriel nor Michael seemed to find that amusing. Both glared at him like he had run over their grandmother’s cat or something. Dean struggled to not glare back under the pressure. Seriously. Had the FBI’s sense of humor gone out the window with the economy? Because, rude. He didn’t appreciate it one bit. People were supposed to laugh at his jokes. He was funny. Evidently they hadn’t got the email or something. Dean sighed in frustration.

“I’m still saying it’s more than one guy. There is no way one man can pull off heists like this. It isn’t possible. Yelling at Uranus here isn’t going to change the fact that the mask is gone. I think you’re best bet for catching this guy is to trace the hacker. IP addresses, right? And if this hacker is as top notch as I’ve seen, then he is definitely going to have some telltale signatures. You all are focusing on when and where the thief did it and trying to catch him like that, but what you should focus on is the how. All of the stolen artifacts end up all over the world, shipped from different states by different people who all have no idea of what they were sending, so there’s no tracing it there.” Dean leaned back in his chair. “Hacker’s the man. I’m telling you.”

Michael eyed him carefully.

“We have no one that can trace him down,” he said. “The hacker is too good.”

“Then let me find someone. I have sources you don’t.”

“Are you going to get us a criminal?” Michael asked.

“Let’s just not ask questions about my people’s origins and focus on the fact that they can get the job done,” Dean replied, giving his a beaming smile.

“Get the job done,” Michael repeated. “The FBI can’t just hire criminals, Mr. Winchester.”

“Then give me a budget and I’ll hire them. You’ll never know who you’re working with and we’ll catch a thief. Can’t get any better than that, right?”

“It can get a lot better than that. I can not get fired for letting you hire criminals and wanted fugitives.”

“If you don’t know that he’s a criminal, he’s not a criminal,” Dean said airily. “Just trust me. When have I ever let you down?”

“On multiple occasions,” Michael replied sourly.

“All accidents.”

“We both know they weren’t all accidents. The incident with the bartender?”

“I didn’t let you down. I was playing wingman.”

“You let me get hit over the head with a bottle of vodka.”

“Details, Agent Morningstar. Details.”

Michael sighed irritably.

“I’ll get you the budget. Don’t let me regret it too much.”

“I can’t guarantee that, but I can guarantee a fast delivery.”

“If you get me fired...”

“I have a job opening.” Dean stopped to consider it. “Actually, that probably is a really bad idea. I don’t have a job opening, but I can get you in with my friend Ash as a bartender.”

“I’m not going to be a bartender.”

“Dude. Everyone secretly wants to be a bartender.”

“I don’t secretly want to be a bartender.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Imagine the phone numbers, man. All the genders. All the hot people.”

“Nobody actually wants to hook up with a bartender.”

“Are you telling me you have never wanted to hook up with a hot bartender?”

“We are not having this discussion in my goddamn office. Everyone. Out.”

Dean grinned as he left. It was always a pleasure to piss off a fed.

⟿

Cas had to come clean. He knew he had to come clean. His brothers were going to be furious with him. Seriously, what was he thinking, dating a bounty hunter? Well, what he was thinking was pie and green eyes and freckles and a deep voice and plaid shirts and stupid morning breath and…

“Pull yourself together!” he muttered as he stared at the laptop screen while Balthy, Luci, Ruby, and Sammy all got drunk.

“He isn’t the legal drinking age,” Cas muttered rebelliously, because Samandriel really wasn’t.

“You’re concerned about drinking ages?” Balthy asked in amusement. “He stole the mask of Alexander!”

“Helped,” Cas corrected. “He helped steal the mask of Alexander.”

“You worry too much. He’s drinking with family. It’s fine.”

Anna sat down next to Cas and passed him a cup of hot tea.

“For the non-alcoholics,” she said softly before looking back lovingly at Ruby. Cas watched her gaze and his heart broke a little. Why did they have to be this way?

“Would you do anything for her?” he asked softly. She blinked at him.

“Of course.”

“What if… Her job put your family in danger?”

Anna turned to look at him intently.

“Castiel… Is there something you aren’t telling us?”

“No, of course not,” he said. “It’s all hypothetical. I’m trying to find out your true feelings for Ruby… So I can understand them better when I might have them.” 

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Anna asked, a little suspicious.

“We haven’t gotten to the strong feelings point yet. I’m not sure I can have them. At any rate, I’m not sure I would recognize them if I did have them.”

Anna sighed and leaned back.

“Well, I wouldn’t lie to my family. And I would tell her that what she was doing was putting you guys in danger. It isn’t good to lie in a relationship, because the lies will only get more and more easier to make until there’s nothing to your relationship but lies and pain. If she really wanted to be with me, she wouldn’t endanger the people I love with her job, because if it is a job that endangers people, then it probably isn’t a good job anyway.”

“You’re saying that to a hacker and a thief, Anna.”

Anna pulled a face.

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

Cas grinned and turned back to his laptop, even though his heart was still shattering, piece by piece. He couldn’t ask Dean to compromise everything he was just for him. He loved him too much for that. This whole relationship had been a stupid idea… But, god if he didn’t love the man. If only he had been a normal guy. He could have spent the rest of his life with the man if the man hadn’t been a damn bounty hunter and consultant to the FBI. Or if Cas himself hadn’t been a damn criminal. He was lying to everyone for this relationship to work and it just… It wasn’t right. But he didn’t know what else to do.

Balthy’s phone started buzzing on the coffee table and Cas leaned over to pick it up.

Call from The Man Of Your Dreams, the screen read along with a Caller ID picture of a very annoyed-trying-not-to-look-pleased Balthy and a very pleased-looking man squishing their faces together in a selfie. Cas’s eyebrows shot up.

“Balthazar, the man of your dreams is calling,” Cas shouted teasingly. Balthy was in the room in a second, flying over the couch and knocking them onto the ground in a tangle of limbs and bloody noses. 

"Ow!" Anna shouted as her nose smacked the coffee table, blood shooting out. Cas held the phone out of Balthy's grasp and hit answer. Luci screamed and jumped on top of them all. 

"Put him on speaker!" he shouted. 

"Do not put him on speaker!" Balthy screeched. Luci smashed Balthy's face into the carpet and hit speaker. 

"Gabriel?" he asked excitedly. 

"I'M GOING TO BRUTALLY MURDER ALL OF YOU!" Balthy shouted. 

"Let me up!" Anna yelled, flailing and getting her and Balthy even more tangled. "My nose is bleeding!" 

"Balthy, you seem to be having some trouble," Gabriel said mildly. 

"Nope! No trouble here!" Balthy said automatically as he elbowed Cas in the face. "Get off!" 

"Gabriel?" Luci untangled himself and sprung up, running away with the phone as Cas pinned Balthy down. 

"That's me. I'm guessing you're one of the brothers."

"Yep, your friendly Lucifer here. I just have a quick question for you. Keep him down!" "And what's that?" Gabe asked in amusement. 

"What are your intentions towards my little brother?" 

"Lucifer Raymond Shurley, I will end you!" Balthy screamed, thrashing as Sam joined

in the pile to pin him down. 

"Well, I was hoping to call him and take him on a nice date tonight," Gabriel replied. "Does someone have a bloody nose?" 

"That's Anna. Balthy is..." Luci was cut off as Balthy got his face smacked into the wooden arm of the couch. "Probably getting a black eye." 

"I can dig it. Can you tell him he has no choice; I'm picking him up at seven?"

"Sure thing." Luci grinned at Balthy devilishly. "We'll have him looking good."

"It's a suit kind of thing, but forget the tie. Although I trust him to dress himself."

"But where is the fun in that?" 

"Excellent point. I'll be there at seven."

“I think I already like you,” Luci said as Balthy managed to get out and tackled him.

“GIVE ME MY PHONE, YOU TROGLODYTE!”

Luci started cracking up as he rolled to the top and began to tickle his brother.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER IS BACK!” he roared and Balthy started swearing at him in a wide host of languages as Gabriel started laughing on the other end.

“I AM A GROWN ASS MAN STOP TICKLING ME!” Balthy landed a good punch on Luci’s face and the phone went flying under the table. 

“Keep acting like that and I will dress you in a red plaid sports coat and black and white checkered slacks and a tye dyed t shirt,” Luci warned.

“Get off,” Balthy hissed.

“No.”  
“Gabe, I am so sorry about all of this,” Balthy called. “I’ll be ready at 7.”


	5. Well Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas fucked up, everyone is pissed, shit gets cray-cray. Balthy basically falls in love, but nope, he will know pain. Everyone will know pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking so long. Since the last update, I got shipped to boot camp, had a mental breakdown, got shipped home, ended up living with my mom because my parents got divorced while I was in the Army, lost all my college money, got kicked out of my dad's house into the rain because I'm hella gay and my dad is a hella homophobe, caught pneumonia, and basically just not had a good past few months. Also I got out of the fandom, but I am back, and I'm giving you guys a fucking gay as all hell story about angels that steal, so, here's a short chapter while I get back into the swing of things. More to follow.

True to his word, he was ready at 7, in his blue three-piece that Anna had practically wrestled him into. Gabe had picked him up in a dramatic flash. Of course the idiot had wanted to meet the family, but Balthy had chased him out before then. They weren’t at that point yet. He finally understood why Cas was so against introducing Dean to them all. They were a bunch of nut cases. Every last one belonged in Bedlam. Lucifer, the dear, was probably suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Sam probably had social anxiety, and Cas was, well, Cas.  
“Balthazar,” Gabe said, snapping his fingers, bringing Balthy out of his spacing. “You with me?”  
Balthy looked up at his concerned face and felt a huge surge in his chest. Here he was, at the top of his game, fresh off of the biggest heist of all time, with this beautiful man. This man with a bright laugh and sly pickpocket skills and candy and that fucking smile and those quirky eyebrows. There was a good chance that he could fall in love with this man and he didn’t even care. Tonight was their night and Balthy was determined to pound him into the mattress.  
Trust Balthy to go from romantic to BDSM in 0.5 seconds flat.  
“Sure I am,” he replied. “What were you saying, precious?”  
The endearment just slipped out of his traitorous mouth and he instantly regretted it from the smug look on Gabe’s face.  
“I was about to get mad at you for not listening to me, but, you know...”  
Balthy blushed deep red.  
“Shut up.”  
“Make me,” Gabe teased and Balthy felt a surge of confidence.  
“Wait till we get back to your apartment and I just might.”  
Gabe’s eyes widened and he blurted, “I have chocolate sauce.”  
Balthy started laughing hard in the middle of the restaurant.  
“You take your sweet tooth into the bedroom?” he gasped.  
“Shut up!” Gabe hissed.   
Balthy held his stomach and tried to contain the laughter as people stared.  
“That’s okay,” he coughed out. “I’m not judging. I’m really not I swear.”  
“You’re judging. You are totally judging me. I can feel the judgment vibes from across the table.” Gabe retorted, thoroughly miffed.  
“Am not.”  
“Are too.”  
Balthy tilted his head at him as he got it together.  
“And who’s to say that I don’t like chocolate?”  
A slow smirk spread across Gabe’s face.  
“Casa Nova, baby,” he said lowly and wiggled his eyebrows. “I call top.”  
“You give me a chocolatey blow job and you can do anything you like,” Balthy replied as he leaned across the table and stole a bite of Gabe’s pasta.  
“I can definitely give you a chocolatey blow job if you keep talking to me like that,” Gabe grinned and Balthy realized they were becoming one of those flirty couples. A couple. They were a couple.  
“Are we, like, a thing?” he asked as he sucked a noodle into his mouth and returned to his steak.  
“A thing?” Gabe repeated as he continued to eat his pasta, not minding that Balthy was subtly stealing from him.  
“Like… Boyfriends thing.”  
“Damn straight you’re my fine ass boyfriend with a sexy British accent,” he replied confidently. “Although please do not change your mannerisms just because we’re a thing. I hate it when people change when they put a label on it.”  
“We’ll just settle with I’m yours and you’re mine.” Balthy grinned. “Now, about that blowjob…”  
⇢  
Cas had fucked up so badly and he knew it. He rushed through his apartment, grabbing essentials and stuffing them into a bag with one hand while he texted his brothers with the other on his burn phone.  
We’re compromised DAR he texted horribly, tripping over his shoelaces as he smashed his laptop and phone to bits, doused them with lighter fluid, and dropped a match in the sink just to be sure. It went up with a whoosh that ripped his heart out of his chest, knowing he had just severed his last connection with Dean, and he ran out of the apartment, trying not to cry.  
The hacker had been too good.  
He should’ve told Dean.  
He should not have lied.  
He might have just lost the love of his life.  
⇢  
Luci woke up the urgent text, whining from his chafing, and his eyes widened. He threw his blankets aside and pulled up his pants. He turned to the two half naked girls in his bed and gave them a sunny smile.  
“Ladies, I am so sorry, but work just called, and you need to leave now. Rhonda, keep those hips sinful I like it. Jessica, your lips are heavenly in the filthiest way possible. Now out, out.” He shooed them out of his bed and apartment and shut the door behind them. Quickly, he started to shove his things into a bag as he sent a group text.   
Switch to encrypted phones, he ordered and ran out the door. Cas, you are telling me everything that happened.  
⇢  
Balthy woke up groggily and checked his phone, eyes widening as he read the messages. He looked down at Gabe nestled against his chest and felt a pang in his chest. He was going to have to leave him. Last night had been heaven on earth… He could still remember the taste of holy sin on his lips, the way Gabe cried out when he pounded into him, the soft hair… Shit.  
Whoever’s fault this is is going to get in a shit ton of trouble, he warned as he attempted to crawl out from under his lover. This had been a mistake. What had he been thinking, trying to settle down?   
Gabe whimpered a little as he laid him down. A lump worked its way up into Balthy’s throat at the tiny noise. What was he doing? He had to leave. He bit his lip and reached forward, brushing the hair out of his lover’s eyes. This was horrible. He didn’t want to go.  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he gathered up his clothes. “I am so, so sorry.”  
Quietly, he slunk away into the early hours of dawn.  
⇢  
“You were doing what?” Luci roared at Cas. Balthy was sitting at the table, staring down blankly at the dull wood. Sam was in the corner, looking torn in two as Lucifer roared at Castiel. “Do you have any idea how selfish you have been? What the hell were you thinking?”  
“I was thinking we had a more profound bond,” Cas murmured and Balthy looked up at that.  
“And it didn’t occur to you that maybe some of us could have had more profound bonds before you went and screwed the law?” he spat and a silence fell on them all as they just stared at Balthy. He could feel his heart splintering and cracking as he stared at his family crumbling before him. Wordlessly, he just got up and left the warehouse they were holed up in.  
Standing outside was liberating to him. The cold air frosted on his breath as he leaned on an old, broken-down forklift. This wasn’t Cas’s fault. If anything, he had managed to warn them ahead of time, but gods, he had forgotten how to hurt like this. He had forgotten how much he loved warmth and affection and laughter and mischievous humor and bantering in between the sheets. He had forgotten how much he loved octopus cuddlers and waking up in the morning to someone you wanted to be with. He had had that for a few moments before he checked that damn phone. That stupid fucking phone.  
He pulled the encrypted phone out of his pocket and stared down at it. The smooth black screen, the sleekness of it offended him. He remembered Gabe taking it out of his hand when he sat down on the bed and setting it firmly on the nightstand, gazing at him with eyes the color of honey.  
Fuck.  
When had it been so easy to fall for someone?  
With a shout, he hurled the phone into the harbor. Angry tears were pricking at his eyes. Gabe wouldn’t get to know what happened. Gabe wouldn’t get to know anything. Gabe was going to wake up and his heart was going to break because he wasn’t going to wake up to Balthy. Or, even worse, he wasn’t going to care.  
The thought hurled his heart up into his throat. What if Gabe didn’t care?  
What if he had made it all up again?  
The idea of Gabe’s apathy was worse than the idea of his pain.   
That terrified him.  
The door shuddered open and he looked up as little Samandriel came out and stood next to him. Balthy looked out across the water, where somewhere a phone was sinking down into the darkness and cold. A phone that would never again make him smile when he got a text.  
“Did you throw it into the harbor?” Sammy finally asked and Balthy slumped against the wall.  
“Yeah,” he muttered. “Wish I could throw my heart in right after it.”  
“I’ve never liked anyone,” Sam said softly. “I don’t know what you’re feeling.”  
At that precise moment, it hit Balthy.  
For the past few years, he hadn’t been alive. Not really. He had just been existing, refusing to deal with the pain of the past, the pain of an absent father, the pain of everything. He drowned his apathy in adrenaline rushes and long hours of intense brain work, but that had been it. He had to finally laugh. It was a harsh, bitter laugh full of pain and self hatred. It was nothing like the joy Gabe had managed to pull out of him.  
“It feels like you’re alive,” he said as Samandriel looked at him with extreme concern. “It feels like you’re alive, and then it feels like you’re dying, and there is nothing you can do.”  
Suddenly, he couldn’t be mad at Cas. Not if he was feeling like this, too.  
“Come on,” he said and grabbed Sam. “We’re planning this shit.”  
He dragged his little brother in after him and deposited him in a chair.  
“There is only one way to fix this,” he said as he grabbed the old chalkboard they had thought to put in there about two months ago. “And it’s going to be hard. Lu, stop yelling at Cas, it’s my turn to talk and actually get shit done.”  
⇢  
“Mr. Winchester,” Michael said evenly. “Are you… telling me that I put my money on you, and you can’t confirm the exact identity of the thief?”  
Dean was in some deep shit and he was just not about to tell Michael his boyfriend happened to be a criminal he was supposed to be tracking down and imprisoning.  
“Not yet, no,” he lied. “It’s going to take some time for me to finally find him. The results were inconclusive. We lost the trace.”  
“THEN FIND IT!” Michael roared and half of the office winced. Dean, however, remained steely calm.  
“I’m going to need some more time. I have to track them down off the charts,” he said thinly. “I can’t have your red tape bullshit fucking up my shit. You wanna know why we lost the trace? Because some naive little hacker from your department fucked up the signal. I suggest you start questioning your own people’s competence before you question mine.”  
Yeah, he was talking out of his ass, but what the hell else was he supposed to do? Tell Michael he was banging a criminal? He’d be off the case for sure then, and someone would catch Cas. He couldn’t let that happen. He was positive Cas was innocent and someone had pulled him into all of it against his will. (As Cas tells his brothers what to do and freaks out about them messing up his equipment, but hush, Dean is dating an angel with horns).   
“Fine. Get out of my sight and don’t come back until you have some real evidence,” Michael snarled and Dean had to struggle to not sag with relief. Yes. He had more time. Quickly, with a smirk intended to further incense the agent, he exited the room.  
“Cas, what have you done,” he breathed under his breath as he walked through the cubicles. What had he done indeed.


End file.
